Can we say roller coaster? Yeah, that has been my life for the last two weeks. Extreme highs & lows. I cry over the smallest, simplest, stupid things. Then I am totally happy & geared up & on top of the fuckin world. It's insane. Poor Jaxson. Oh God, my poor sweet boy. I have said I am sorry to him countless times. I have hung up on him more times in the last 2 weeks. I have walked away from him. I have doubted him. I have hurt him. I have confused the shit out of him. And the thing is I swear Im not meaning to. Jaxson is one of my dearest friends in the world. I love this man. Although, I have a very funny way of showing him as of late. All the shit that he & I have been through in the last few weeks & he has been so amazing! Truly the most kick ass, stand up guy a girl could ever hope for. And then some. There is no way that I can take back the last two weeks & make me seem a bit more sane & not so emotional. But through it all, I have had my one constant, Jaxson. And to you my dear sweet boy, I must say I am truly sorry for being a basketcase & so emotional. Thank you for being yourself & never ever being less. For always being true & real. For being the stand up guy that everyone knows you to be. For showing me that yes, there really are real men out there. For being my best friend. For the most awesome support. And for already being an amazing Dad. And for always calling me back when I hang up. ;) I really do love you from the bottom of my heart. And just so you know I couldn't be prouder than I am right at this moment. We have a HUGE long hard journey ahead of us but in all honesty, I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else but you. The next 9 months are going to be crazy but we got it.
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