It's funny how things can change so quickly when you are open to change. But I really think that is the key to it all, you have to be open to it. Jaxson is so amazing! I mean truly. He has always been an awesome guy, a great friend (he will always have your back). I have never doubted that or what a stand up guy he is. But now that things are progressing for us, it's almost strange how sweet & romantic he is. That's so not Jaxson at all. At least not the Jaxson I am use to. It's been great! We just both had to be open to this. Things are good & as of this moment things only look like they are going to get better.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the movie, The Notebook. But come on, what true blooded woman doesn't. Im not a sucker for romantic movies, I like some but most are just so cheesy, I can't really get into them. Now, that movie is such a treasure. The way Noah loves Allie is almost unreal. I have always said I wanted a Noah of my own. Well, as it turns out I have had him but was not seeing it. I was not open to it at all. I knew I would fall in love with Jaxson so I did everything in my power to push him away. I hurt him. I yelled at him. I refused him. But in the end he just kept loving me. He got to the point where he knew it would blow over & I would be ok. How he did it, I don't know. All that matters is that he did. He didn't give up. Two weeks ago I wrote this itty bitty blog on Myspace called, "If you're a bird, Im a bird." Which if you have ever seen The Notebook, you know what Im talking about. (Keep in mind Jaxson has not seen this movie) Last night Im taking a bubble bath & he calls me & asks if I can jump on Myspace really quick. That he has something he wants me to see but that I need to be on the phone with him when I see it. So, I jump out & call him back. He has made a few changes to his page but the biggest ones are the song & he added the "If you're a bird, Im a bird" clip to his page. Totally melted me. Im crying now even. It may not seem like anything big or special to anyone else but that spoke volumes to me. Something so small.
Jaxson is just like me in the sense of we dont get close. We dont need anyone. We can do it on our own for sure. We have both been hurt, damaged beyond repair. He has put everything out there for me. And all I have to do it take hold of his hand & start this journey with him. I truly am blessed.