Im starting to think that all of my blogger friends have forgotten about me.
So, we got through our first Thanksgiving without "Chief". We had a big gathering with all of my Mom's family, my Daddy's parents & some of my Mom's nieces in-laws. We had 3 people missing though. All three died within 5 weeks of each other this Summer. First my cousin's Brother in law, dead of a heartattack before the age of 50 (come to find out he was on the same med that my Daddy was. The same med that was pulled ONE DAMN DAY AFTER my Daddy died because it causes what? You guessed it, heart failure.) Then 3 weeks later my precious Daddy died of a heartattack at age 52. Lastly, my cousin Ryan died of an accidental overdose (two pain meds mixed that shouldn't have been) 2 days shy of his 21st birthday. So, to say the least it was a hard day for a lot of us there. My Daddy was an only child & his parents only have us left. My darlin grandmother lost it at prayer time & this woman who always shows such strength couldnt get it together. Not that I don't blame her. No matter how old your child is, you should never out live your baby. It's just not right. And your only baby at that. She has lost her Daddy, Stepdad, Mother & her only child.
I broke down almost as soon as I got there, during the prayer, at the store & at home as well. On a day where I am suppose to be thankful for that God has given me, all I could seem to think about, for the most part, was what was taken away from me. From us. Parents who their only child is no longer here. A wife who has spent more of her life with her true love than without had her husband suddenly taken from her. Two kids who lost the bestest Daddy two kids could ever hope for had him ripped from their lives overnight. One precious grandson who adored his Chief (And up until Jaxson the only father Ryker had) robbed of a full childhood of memoires with his beloved grandpa. One sweet granddaughter who will never ever have one single memory of her Chief who was excited & happy to have his lil girl all because he was taken from us 4 very short weeks after her birth. How is this fair?? How can I think of things to be thankful for when something like this happens?
It's hard. It can be done though. While things don't always go our way, when something big like this happens it tends to overshadow the good things at times. Its hard not to dwell on that one bad thing because it is so huge. Everything we do is now different. You try your best to not let it get in the way of everyday things but it does. It effects every single aspect of your life. But with that said we are thankful.
We are thankful that we got 52 years to be his parents.
We are thankful we had 31 years of wedded bliss.
We are thankful we had 27 and 24 years to have him as our Daddy. (and he will always be our Daddy, he just wont always be here)
We are thankful that for the first 8 years of life Ryker has had, he had his Chief who loved him more than this life.
We are thankful for those 4 very short, precious weeks Chief had with Layla before he was called home for good.